I have been spending quite some time recently with my childhood friends since I have the luxurious of free time in the last 2 months. For the past 5 years we rarely meet except for special occasions like Hari Raya or birthdays since everyone is busy with studying and considering the fact 2 of them are studying abroad make it more difficult. But when we meet I always had the best time of my life, laughing all the way talking about the same memories we shared during our schooling days (believe me,we laughed like bunch of maniac over THE SAME FREAKING stories!),what’s happening in our current life and how old we get now and each time we (more like me alone!) will be in denial. 1 of our hot topic is ‘kau selalu kena ejek time sekolah sebab tak join sekolah agama kan?’ The thing is my father thought we (my sister and I) will get tired attending 2 schools in the same day, some more with extracurricular activities, etc plus its highly important to state here that it is NOT compulsory under our country’s education system. It’s more like the parents’ choice for their children, to give them equal chance to excel in both worlds so that they will have choices later in pursuing in term of career wise. I always felt ashamed and had low self esteem every time other kids start to make fun of me for not going to sekolah agama because in the society's view by attending that school you are taught to be a better Muslim. Let me tell you its all crap! The fact is, its so opposite in the real life, especially talking about present time. Contrary to popular belief those who doesn’t attended the sekolah agama would definitely be someone social in his way of life, looking to the people who did went but acting like they don’t would make you want to say MasyaAllah everytime you see them these days.
Most of my good friends did attend and they shine in both schools, but none of them (as far as I know) trail to that path of further studies. Let me clear the fact that I have no qualm in confessing that the reason why I’m wearing hijab /tudung is not because I realised my duty as a Muslim but to be honest that is what my parents want me to do as they think it’s about time since I’ve reached the right age. I wasn’t forced nor given ultimatum instead they firmly reasoned me out, for sure I was rebelling inside but somehow I don’t feel it as an oppression neither, I clearly know this day will come it’s just a matter of time. I’ve been taught by amazing ustazah (s) since I was a kid, even they weren’t the type of people or educator who preach the teaching of ‘Kalau kau tak pakai tudung, kau orang jahat’ (If you don’t wear tudung you are a bad person) instead they were the one who instilled in myself that the image projects by a Muslim lady when she chooses to not to wear tudung is the matter of between her and the creator, as Allah is the only One has the right to judge his ummah. I was not raised in a family of alim ulama, to know how your religion works doesn’t make you pious people it’s just make you a responsible servant to God and wilfully follow the law written by Allah because we want that happiness in akhirat, because we believe in heaven and hell as well as we are followers of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.
I was 18 when I started wearing it ‘professionally’ meaning to classes, going out with family, etc but when it comes to outdoor activities like my Taekwando class, playing futsal with friends, having fun at waterpark or anything that falls under that same category I will leave it behind without feeling any guilt (THEN). I grew up in a multimixracial-religion family and am surrounded by women who doesnt wear tudung and that doesn’t make them less saint to those who does, it’s just that the mix cultural and amalgamation of few races in our family makes that as a choice rather than a compulsory option. My own mother started wearing tudung only after given birth to my brother if I’m not mistaken, I was 7 and that makes her 37 years old. During their (our parents) time wearing clothes that can be consider kinda revealing now days for example the ladies not covering their hair, wearing miniskirts, etc was not such a big deal as a Muslim but as time goes by the practise of Islam in our country is roving to the right path and more civilised in the religion sense itself. The society used to put themselves as Malay first then only Muslim, but today it’s the other way around when they realised that’s the true teaching of the Al-Quran no matter what colour you are, what race or caste you belong too, what language you spoken, etc in the eyes of Allah all Muslims are the same. As years have passed by, at the age of 21 years old I start to feel that I don’t think I can be seen in public without my tudung anymore, somehow slowly naturally it planted firmly in myself that now it is part of your identity and not a choice you can make anymore and I feel happy knowing I’m now wearing it for Allah and not because I give a damn of what would people say behind my back nor for my parents solely. Before, I was a bit hesitant to wear it full time because I still be wearing short sleeve shirts, fit outfit, and etc but my father told me if you want to wear tudung wear it completely as it is not an accessory which just complement your fashion as a Muslim. I’m not saying am no more wearing fit jeans, etc but I gradually changing for the better I hope as my age grows and it is a conscious decision and not because of my father say so.
3 months ago when a new great friend of mine informing me her intention to learn how to wear tudung, and asked me for help I couldn’t be happier as a Muslim as well as a friend. We were in the midst of the chaos in preparing for our last final exam in University, when she told me that and her choice of words literally made my eyes teary. She said,’Cheda, entah kenapa I rasa terbuka hati nak pakai tudung lepas kawan dengan you.I x ada sangat kawan rapat yang pakai tudung, nanti you ajar I boleh? I rasa you lah role model terbaik boleh tolong I sekarang, I nak belajar pakai selendang macam you lepas habis final exam nanti.’ And I of course who was so excited for her, dump my Civil Procedure notes at that time and start browsing online to buy her first selendang. I taught her how to wear it on our last day in Melaka, using my forever rainbow-ish collection of selendang in my room witnessed by Sarah. All of us felt so grateful to be able to help our friend, Lulu is the friend I never thought I can be friending this close with. We know each other since first year but hit off really well only in our last 4 months of our student’s life thanks to mock trial which combined our 2 groups of colourful personalities and dramas. She is such a soft spoken, kind-hearted and so polite. I kept telling her that because she’s kinda too good to be true, and Fariz is such a lucky man to have her, hopefully they’ll end up together pretty soon. And since she’s from Ipoh I make a conclusion that orang Ipoh memang baik-baik because even Nisa has the same character. She took time to be comfortable before start wearing it full time who knows somewhere near in future. Baby step is more than enough compare to stand still and not thinking forward.Syukur Alhamdulillah.
Its true that every single things happen for a reason, we may not see it at first but along the journey He will show the sweetness of every choice and decision you made. For someone who at first started wearing tudung for her parents’ sake and now being someone who has inspired others to also wear it, I couldn’t ask for a bigger hikmah than this. Thank you Allah, pray that all of us will always be under His blessing and not to stray from this path, Amin.
Please protect us from evil Ya Allah, Amin...
