Deep shit.

Once in a while if we finished our hearing early, Mr.K will take me for a quick bite before heading back to office. 1 day while having our brunch he asked me what book am I currently reading and I said he doesn’t want to know because I read chick flick novels and not those serious materials like other my age would read. Then he told me he’s reading ‘God’s Dilemma’, because he is in search what is and who the real God is. He said he keep looking for the answer of what is the purpose of him being born, why does God wants him to be on this earth, why is he doing and not that, why would people want to get married when at the end of the day we will end up die alone, and etc. Further he questioned, if God is fair and great why are some people are rich and some can’t even afford to have propel meal once a day? Why are there people born with disabilities? Why are people fighting and wars taking place all around the world? Why must people think their religion is better than the other? Why the society judge people according to who does the most deeds publicly? Why this and why that?

I can’t even freaking enjoy my capati that day. Somehow when he raised this issue, he pretty much reminds me to Dr.MZ (coincidently he knows Dr.MZ because he was a visiting lecturer for his class in UM few years back) lol.what a small world since now Miss Sik is his Master class lecturer for IP. Ok back to the story...

For a second there I thought we were having a clash of minds (debate would sounds so exaggerate since we were at a Mamak restaurant,haha) comparing all the religions and stuffs beyond our imagination and most of the time my answers or the way I reciprocated sounds like as if I know what am I doing in this world but the truth is I just want to balance the conversation by being the positive party here and I told him, ‘I ain’t no the perfect Muslim but I never stop learning, you tend to over thinking about things K(since he asked me to stop calling him Mr.K kononnya nampak tua since he’s just 29y.o), for me as long as I’m happy doing what am I doing, happy with the way I am surrounded by the people I love I won’t wasting time thinking about things which we can never find the perfect and certain answer because I’m that kind of person the more I think about these kind of things I will start to question my faith and I don’t like it’.

Then I asked him,’ Why do you go to temple, pray, and go to those talks about Hindu, etc but at the end of the day you still don’t have the peacefulness of mind that you should get?’ He replied, ‘Because I have to, we were told to do that since were kids so we grow up thinking that’s the right thing to do but I’m a deep shit because I still can’t find the answer what am I doing here. And before leaving I said,’ That’s the difference between us, yes I was taught by my parents to love and obey my religion and God but whatever I’m doing for Islam now is because I want to not because I have too and I believe that is why I am happy.’

In the car otw back, the whole journey he still talking about it but I trying hard not to take it seriously and again and again he reminds me ‘You better don’t start to over thinking like I do, because I don’t need another person to join me in this deep shit’. I was just laughing and said, ‘No, I won’t’.

Have some faith will you?

25th January

They say I'm good with numbers and dates. Indeed I am.I guess.

3 years ago on this date I took my first step in Bachelor of Law (Hons), with 3 other friends for life I entered this course with such unstoppable eagerness and maximum curiosity, since then; events, new friends, high profile dramas made my life here more colourful than its already is. Looking back our early days in this 'challenging' University called MMU I feel proud and grateful that I've survived (so far!) in this mean...mean world!

Now, 7 kgs lighter and much more wiser(I like to believe) I hope to continue walking forward regardless how many obstacles coming our way.

Someday many years from now, We'll sit beside the candles glow. Exchanging tales about our past. And laughing as the memories flow. And when that distant day arrives. I know it will be understood. That friendship is the key to live. And we were friends and it was good. - Eileen Hehl

My friends for life are my family ♥

1,2,3,4 yes I can dance:)

Dancing is an art of one to express their feeling, the freedom in the movements somehow is so rejuvenated especially when you do it in such a carefree manner, no force, more like to the willingness in enjoying them. Being exposed to Bollywood choreographers and their routines since my younger days developed the soft spot in me towards dancing. My idea of perfect routines and choreographies starts and ends with Farah Khan’s school of dancing. For me to dance is actually to have fun with ourselves and make others happy watching them although it may not turn out as perfect as what we practise. The humiliation is just for a moment, however the memories are for life to be treasured. Never in million years I would ever think I’ll get involve in naach gaana experiences, especially not in my University life but it happened and that’s why people say never say never. Sincere from my heart, I love doing it but they are not as a career backup or something, it’s just a way of me spending quality time with my loved ones when we still have the opportunity because once we leave student’s life we’ll be on different path and only time will tell whether we’ll be able to keep the bonding. InsyaAllah. The next best thing about joining all this new find hobby is meeting new people, making new friends and just enjoying our passion.

Shall we dance?Waiting for the time to learn Indian dance.

Dear Ramadhan,please let me be part of you again.

It's been a very emotional Ramadhan indeed. I feel sorry for myself for many reasons;

I've missed a lot of chances to collect pahala in this blessed month due to so called busy-ness,


even before this month started I've missed Manchester United's games(ALL!since they beat Chelsea 3-nil for the 1st cup of this season,I know its that long),


yet again I've missed (4 years in a row) to start study early for final exam,

I missed quality times that I've should find and spend with my family,


I've missed the signs which lead me to the biggest stupidity I have ever done,I've misjudged some people(completely my bad),


I've missed quite a number of good movies(latest my fav KAJOL&Arjun Rampal's 'We Are Family' is in cinemas NOW!)


I've failed to read between the lines, actually between hundred or maybe thousands of sweet and fake lines,


BUT


I'm also thankful that HIM and them will always be by my side,


I'm grateful that HE'll always be there to lead me,I can always lean on HIM,


I'm lucky to once thought I've met love,


I'm blessed to at least have a bit of sanity and iman in me,


I'm happy that rather have the ability to feel hurt than feel nothing at all.


And so many feelings I wish I can write here but I'm too tired and irrational at the moment so hope this Raya and final exam will pass by without me realise it and hopefully it'll be good for all of us.InsyaAllah.

Saiyidah Izzati Nur,remember this;Allah wont test you, if He knows that u cant handle it.

Ramadhan once again.

As colourful and excited the bazaars are,the same feeling I have every Ramadhan. Tremendously grateful to be at home ♥ Selamat berpuasa,bertarawikh&berbuka to all :) Let us appreciate this chance, one more time given by the Creator. Alhamdulillah.

Among my favourite quote when it comes to my own personal sensitivity towards my beautiful religion :)

"I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way" - Dave Chappelle

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak is here again. Thank you Allah.

What's in the name?

When Shakespeare wrote ‘What’s in the name?’ for sure there’s incident or justified reasons behind it isn’t it? So that’s exactly my question, what’s in the name? Especially mine. (I don’t really bother with others’, why should I? hahaha)

Story 1: Wish I could ask people to stop asking me about my “unique” name when it comes to why is it the ‘NUR’ is placed at the last. No I’m not angry or what so ever but I wish I have the answer though, pardon me that I never really thought of sitting down and have a serious heart to heart talk with my parents of the story behind it. I love history but some things are beautiful to be left untold. Especially to those guys who know for a fact I won’t reply the messages and please improve your pick up line, it’s so lame and boring when you try to get girl’s hp number but praising her name and for the record please just keep your number.

Story 2: Why would she call my name for every class? It’s because only she has the most detectable instinct of me actually day dreaming rather than focusing to her lectures; or maybe she is the only one who really bothers. I’m not kidding but every classes and tutorials she keeps calling my name and the terrified and paranoid I am I would be ducking or hiding behind whoever sitting in front of me. Yes its hurt, try to sit in the same posture for an hour or more! Not the normal posture ok, the one we have to do when the person in front of us is actually smaller and way slimmer than we are. Ms.CK is the nicest person I 've known and that’s why I feel sorry (for myself) every time I’m not able to give the most sense reply. But I just realised that actually I kind a like the subject [this happened when there’s only 9 hours 30 minutes left before I sit for the paper last Friday] so second half of this semester I’ll try harder to surprise myself and also her in good way that is.

Story 3: Last week Ms.A asked me why my friends refer me as ‘Cheda’ but not ‘Saiyidah’ when she herself never called me using my real name instead; ‘Kajol’[no objection though, so flattering!] so during our lunch time the story continues and Pza recalled back our first meeting which is way back 4 years ago during our foundation time. In short, it reminds me of why I need a nickname. Most of the time when I introduced myself to new people “Hye, my name is Saiyidah” they will immediately start giving me this weird don’t-you-have-a-nickname-or-something-that-easy-for-us-to-pronounce? look and that’s why Cheda seems convenient for all. They told me that it took quite an effort to say the name so as I won’t compromise with other pronunciations or the other 2 names, Cheda it is. Plus my bff given me the nickname in 2003 so since then I’m loving it :)

My name is SIN and I am not a terrorist!

Road trip up in the North

Do I deserved the road trip?The happiness during 1 week of holiday?The love given by people there?The good time I had?The laughter I joined? Certainly not but in case something bad occurred in terms of exams' results at least I spent some quality time trying to forget all the mistakes I've made as it will be already too late to regret stuffs that can't be undo. Until then breathe....

Colourless Monday

Why people relate Monday with the colour blue?

Why Blue?

It’s a fact that Blue is my least favourite colour, it just doesn’t suit me [doesn’t bring the best out of me considered as least [not the point for this entry!].LOL!

But I couldn’t stop wondering when people always sighing “ahh the Monday blues” every time Sunday is about to end. I have nothing against Monday personally, but I hate certain hours in that day for example CLASSES! [The ONLY point of this whole entry] Save for if its holiday I completely adore Monday! Why just Monday I love each and every day of whenever I got time off!

What should I say about Monday that haven’t’ been said before?

I should set up this entry’s mood with what lecturers suffered from just literally have to face us [the EASILY DISTRACTED LAW STUDENTS] when it comes to the first day of the week [honestly, when it comes to us (ME!) it’s actually everyday in the week. Seriously deep in heart I do want to resign from this little club ‘Lazy Club’ where I am the self appointed President, soon I hope. Really soon.

Situation 1: So, when can constructive trusts arose?

The lecturer can either experiences a sudden silence treatment as if she was talking in a alien language or the little pigeons that making sounds outside the class’s window get more attention from us as we kind of more interested in talking back to them or knowing what is the problem they are facing rather than replying the lecturer’s question.

Situation 2: Rendang, Sup, Kurma, Kicap and Merah are the majority shareholders in the company. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and the question is can Kurma be removed by the company’s solicitor?

I mean like, seriously you think we can stay focus after getting questions using foods name? And what worse is it’s already passing our lunch time and now stuck in a 2 hours tutorial! Hence come the chit-chatting from the backbenchers (bb):-

Me: Pza, macam mana nak masak sup telur?

Bb1: hahahaha.Gila ke?focus lah!

Bb2: (a friend who also loves FOOD and only pretend to focus in this class): Ntah budak gemok ni, org tengah jawab Qs tanya pasal masak plak!hehehe.

Bb3: cheda,rendang b**i sedap you know.Pernah makan or not? I eat all kind of meat, you just name it. I’m a meat eater[with that proud grin]

Me: Euwww,Jin stop it!Gila!

Bb4: Oit..oit..shut up lah!Bising only!You still owe me burgers,don’t forget ah?hahaha.

Me: Owh,shut up Uncle Neo!Ya lorr,its been 2 years lupa got burgers date with you. Shall plan soon:D

Me: Oitt girls, got any makanan tak?

Bb5: Huh? Did I hear it right? Makanan, now?hehe. Lapar ke? Kesian (NOT!)

And the conversation continues despite the discussion still going on.


Situation 3: Any questions? Anything you do not understand? Or can I ask questions if you don’t have any?

From head held high all of us suddenly look down as if we just drop our pen or books. And when the lecturer dismisses the class we can actually hear huhahuhahuhahuhahuha [indicating how cheerful and energetic we are in real life] and makes the lecturers wondering ‘Why all of you didn’t act like this in my class?’, 'Because we respect you Miss, so wont make noise during lecturer hours', 'Owh please!(while making that cute disbelief and sarcastic face) hahaha.

There are MANY more situations like this but what I’m trying to say here is that Monday is when we haven’t fully recovered from our holiday/weekend mode, in short we take time and maybe when the time arrived its already another weekend so there go another effort in making a new Monday a lovely day that it SHOULD be rather than how we WANT it to be. The bottomline is we love and appreciate our lecturers sincerely and it’s not their fault at all as they are giving their best in guiding and teaching us, they being nice all the time(MOST!), they do not punish us like when we were in school, etc but all the blunders are completely ours!

To all dear lecturers, you guys are amazing and superb human beings who just trying your best in making us as good or better than yourself in future but we can take it from there. I mean you are done with your part and now it’s completely up to us to WAKE UP! Its better now or never.

It takes me 1 step at a time to be a better ME :)

My own Along.

Below are conversations between two sisters who are totally diverse in each characteristic and every cell in their body. The only thing made them click and stick with each other is for the fact they are nuts and share same set of parents and annoying younger brother.

1^st January 2010

Adik: Alongggggggggggg, jom turun makan.( calling my sister, let’s eat dinner)

Along: Woiii, aku kan dekat je dgn ko nape nak jerit. Aku x pekak lagi lah! Ko ni mcm gergasilah!( why do you need to scream when I’m so near to you, I’m not deaf ok! You sound like a giant!)

Adik: Mana ada aku jeritlah,ni suara normal. Azam baru xnak jerit2lh, nanti dpt high BP! (Where got I scream, this is my normal voice. Plus my new resolution doesn’t want to scream anymore, chance of getting high BP is high!)

Along: Hahahahahaha, azam ko tu da berzaman aku dgr! (Sarcastically says; you and your resolution will never work! Been hearing that for ages!)

P/s: Seriously I scream/shout less this New Year. I stop says a lot of things like shut up, calling names to my brother, keep most of things to myself, etc.

Pp/s: Feel better as a person when I cut off my anger, short-temperness, reacting to annoying & ignorant people and know what I’ve even been a role model to dear ones without realising it. Love is all what I’m going to spread after this. Only to those who deserved it.

Ppp/s: Screaming or shouting does rises up our blood pressure so stop doing it unless you want to get heart attack and die young.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,me not screaming just practising high notes!haha:)