Gifts from heart

People say that it doesn't matter what you give to someone for their special day because the thought that counts!Do they really meant it when they said it?Let me tell you something,its totally bu%lsh#t! So what if I think like that,sue me if you want but don't be a hypocrite by saying that you actually stand strong by that statement!*booooo* 1 thing don't get me wrong,its not all that grand, luxury stuff(but if people are kind enough,I cant say no kan?haha) that Im talking about but simple wishes or cake will do.It could put a wide big smile on my face.

I believe that all of us has expectation from the loved ones around us,right?When I was a lot more younger, finding presents for my parents,siblings and friends are not as tough as now because believe me its pretty hard nowdays since there are millions of choices compared to last time! Buying presents never been my niche nor it will be but when we already have this concrete ideas and images in our mind which suit perfectly with the personality or passion the person who we wanted to buy the present but could'nt find the thing till the 11th hour its kinda frustrated, not just time wasted but also as we emotionally involved with the person we care and it does matter to me,personally.I always get this panick attack everytime those kind of situation occured; whether the person will think that I forgot,or on purpose,or that I dont care about them anymore.This month is a month where my calendar almost full with reminders for each day about birthdays,anniversaries,etc.

This frustration actually been expressed due to my mission finding 3 stuff that I've been planning since early this year(yeah,thats how sure I was till...)but just cant found it yet!Maybe I have to jump to my next plan(which I dont have & yet to be discover!).

Whatever it is I want all the people to know that they play an important role in my life and thats why I want everything to be 'perfect' in this field atleast and give them a great day to be remembered and it was the least I can do as a friend.

me,wishing Happy Birthday to all my friends especially those who had/will celebrate our 21st :)

Its just a flirt *wink*

I don't have a look to kill for nor do I deserve the title drop dead gorgeous but I assure that you don't have to fit those criteria for people to fall head over heels over you.Sometime I did suffer from inferior complexity, thanks to those beautiful people around me whether its my sister or friends(they are great people btw) but couple of times did friends remind me to the nicest part of me is he&she said that "being beautiful without you even realised it put you in a different above league than the others ".THANK YOU,I LOVE YOU GUYS!Im totally flatterd but I seriously need to learn how to received compliments as Im suck at it.*wink*

Just be yourself, carry yourselves charmingly and don't be fake for whatever reason as it clearly portray that people only will look at you if you become someone else; which is bad .You dont have entire life to living a life that wasnt yours so today,after numbers of observations( occurred in my daily life)here what I came out about the flirt issue :


Situation 1 : A sheepish smile by the young lad who takes my order every time I stopped by at the Delifrance, he said so much by saying nothing.He speaks trough his eyes or always used his ladies co-workers to get information or send his regards to me.It is a flirt right?

Situation 2 : The time when you walk by yourself to anywhere and some young guys will start those 'phewitt' or sweet talk with just to get your attention.Its kind a rude from where I'm looking at it but don't lie by denying that you somehow enjoy and like it.It is a flirt right?

Situation 3 : When a friend who is a boy/man give hints that he's waiting or only have his eyes/heart for you.When words like 'I'll do anything for you' easily slipped from his mouth just like that did he/them meant it for the purpose of flirting with us?It is a flirt right?

What's the differences between a crush and a flirt?

Well, I wouldn't know because most of the people flirting (if that what they were doing!) with me(I LOVE to believe that!) are among the people who have high possibility for me to have crush on them*wink*<---- you will get a lot of winking today!But 1 thing for sure flirting is such a harmless activities, no emotion involved nor do we know that person(most of the time!)because based on experience only complete strangers or very close person to us that would flirt with us.

Need to remind that a girl's heart is fragile like a thin surface of ice waiting to be broke anytime if you skate onto it. Give the right signs if only you mean it.

me,a serial flirter :)

Talentime

Date : 3^rd April 2009

Cinema : MBO,Malacca

Movie : Talentime

Director : Yasmin Ahmad

I wanted to do the review for quite sometimes now, but there are too many things going on since that canceled supposed to be 1^st date but it’s ok now that I remember I want to give all the applauses to the film and all the crews as they deserved it. Totally! But because of the invitation 2 days back to come to FINAS for the public screening (FREE) reminds me to how much I adore this film. As well as for certain Mahesh Jugal Kishore.hahaha:p

Ok, actually there are a pinch of irritated feeling blooming inside of me as this film doesn’t get its due financial wise! Compare to all those rubbish(Selamat Pagi Cinta, I’m not single,to name a few) who get box office title or at least get back the net revenue, its kind a pissed me off that Malaysian seems do not appreciate great Malaysian movie made by true Malaysian at heart. But putting that aside, it did received recognitions from international film festival and although some people say awards doesn’t make a difference (those are people who never get an award, that’s why!) but it does for me and I feel happy for them. Congrats.

It does fit my list of a perfect movie with its spontaneous element, the laid back sense of humor (SO MALAYSIAN!), the awesome line of actors, and mind blowing OST tracks. From 1 track to the other its growing slowly inside you.

O re piya has been 1 of my favourite track lately. Listening to it each time reminds me to the superb art by Yasmin Ahmad which is one of my all time top choice; Talentime. The great lyrics by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan (a well known Sufi singer as well as a poet) strike a chord to a lot of things actually be it about love, multi-cultural life, sacrifices we made in this life and boundaries we overcome as a human. It’s all been wrapped up beautifully in 1 hour and some minutes. And that summed up why I love this director. The thing I love about her works is that by doing so little she did so much actually!

So, I hope you will buy the DVD and watch it. Try to watch all of Yasmin’s works and you will understand why I think she is the most Malaysian director we have.

me,smitten by Mahesh :)

Skeleton coming out from the closet--->TOMOK

Yes, its about time I guess.

Yes, Im (we) are smitten by 1 of the contestant who were in OIAM.

Yes, I (we) now wear & somehow love yellow.

This are some excerpts of mine during the 10 weeks journey :

Kaisya & Sarah's dialogue during Top 40 going to Top 12 : Cheda, Abg New Boys kau yang jiwang meleleh tu masuk Top 12 lah.Muahahaha(their evil laughing are now haunting them as they are 1 of the Moks!)

Week 1: What,budak suara sengau tu masuk top 12?Biar betul!
Week 2 : Syafinaz & Paul must have gone crazy by choosing him man!
Week 3 : Hmm,dapat imuniti mamat lentok ni!Bagus ke?Crazy in love bkn byk nyanyi pon,oklh!
Week 4 : Ya ALLAH,I love his version of 'Ingin Bersamamu'.Syafinaz's was boring!
Week 5 : Best gile lagu 'Umbrella' dia nyanyi!Ella..eh2..ella.
Week 6 : Went late to class to watch his re-run of OIAM.
Week 7 : Abggggg Tomok!!!!!
Week 8 : OMG,Amylea is out!Next is Aweera,if Tomok Im going to @#$@@$!
Week 9 : Yeahhh,he deserved to be in final!ALL THE BEST MY TOMOK!
WEeek 10 : Dupp..dapp..dupp..dapp..The winner of the Hottest season yet of OIAM is TOMOK!!!Yeayyy!


Yes, we the Moks are TOMOK MANIA! So,the moral behind this story is dont ever judge TOMOK without watching him performing nowdays!hehehe..

And know what, I have a video which was aired nationally to proved just that.

Day & time : Monday, 4th May 2008.
Channel : 8TV,Media Prima.

Yes,the screaming voices were mine(ours!).Yes, the maniac were us. Believe me we never went gaga over Malaysian artiste/star/celeb like this except :-

Me : Datuk Shah Rukh Khan ( he is half Malaysian way before that datukship!I rest my case:p)
Sarah : Siti Nurhaliza
Pza : Ashraf Muslim
Kaisya : Ally Iskandar(numbes of choices,Im not sure)

me,LOVE Adam Lambert & Danny Gokey :)

Living in denial!

So, I went off quite happily and confidently [that I'm actually going to do my 'revision' for final at home] back to home sweet home,Shah Alam. Like a bird flying back to its nest.Like a baby crawling back to his mama. I thought like always this time I will do the same. Nothing can make me doubt my decision of spending this so called study week at home but I was wrong. Where should I even start it...the moment I realized my foolishness is when...

On the bus,that very damn hot evening the air conditioner chose not to work. So there I was sweating, trying to get some sleep or pretend to as I don't like looking outside the window just because someone is sitting beside me[read : stranger!no luck = no single seat] I decided to continue reading Daisy's back in town by Rachel Gibson before somehow something struck my mind reminding to the distractions I will faced this 1 week 'holiday'. Maybe because the faces of friends who said the other night that 'I cant study at home, don't know how you pull it through' come flashes couple of time at the back of my mind.

At that point of time I'm sweating even more and my heart beats 7 times faster! What was I thinking, am I living in denial! Sure I agree with them, because I don't think I will lift a finger on my books or notes! When I didn't do that at my place in Mallacca[boring x 3] what made me think I will at my mini heaven[home!]

During my nerve shock period I didnt realised its home already.


First place I went[after salaming & hugs+kisses ayah&mama ofcourse] was the kitchen, just to see whether I'm right again!Yes,Mama cooked my favourite chicken dishes again.Not a single time did she forget to do that since I moved and have my weekends at home.Thanks Mama!:) Mama ajaking me for wedding this weekend,according to her this girl[our neighbour] is my friend and she is getting marry.If you say; saying hi and bye only once in your life to a person considered as a friend than let it be. Then Mama ask this and that, telling me this and that and after 4 weeks without them make me kind a laid back and listen and only listen.With this love I think I can start study anytime soon.We'll see.

Then, went straight to room where I know someone was there because looked like it've been cleaned up since the last time I was there.The floor looks shining, the AC's air more fresher, and the room smells great[not because I'm a messy girl but because the room besides mine have been sanitized as well!] I dont prefer other people do the cleaning workfor me, not for my room atleast but as that boy damn lazy than what to do. But at least yeay!I wont be smelling the 'kandang kambing' smell for quite sometime. A great start I must say, me and Boboy havent start fighting,YET! Perfect surrounding for me study mode.We'll see.


Freshing up myself .Unpacking my huge almost torn apart luggage.Try to remember something really important but couldnt to.The thinking process took a long time.After sets of pause and play..suddennly,PAPP[sound of me slapping my head]...




I left my Dell's wire at EP.This must be sign from GOD isnt it?That what most of normal -people who having final exam in 2 weeks would think- but not me! Thank GOD I have my ACER at home.Then I put back a big smile on my face.Lucky me.We'll see how lucky I'll be.



That night I should have started study, instead I watched delay game of Chelsea v.Barcelona with Ayah.What a stupid refree we had for a such important game.Too many fauls, so many hand balls, and there should have been numbers of penalty kick awarded to the Blues[Im not their supporter but just telling right things that should have done] .For me UEFA is like a mini World Cup in the world of football so when you lose such integrity there is no more fun watching it. Barca should have not win it and step to the final leg.I lose my chance of watching Terry slipped again in the final!hahahaha..Jokes apart Hiddink's boys deserved the spot better.I will start study tomorrow morning.We'll see.





10 am.The plan was 8am.Better late than never.Working day so empty house all belong to me, alone.The temptation of the remote,TV,the comfort of the sofa,etc all belong to me.How can I start study?I always wrong about myself being determined when it comes to study.For a change I thought this time will be different, Im wrong AGAIN!The car key is back in my hand.So after lunch vroomm I went looking for Mother's Day's presents.This year I have a clear vision of what I want to do and buy.Somehow because the 21 factor I have solid plan as well as solid financial support this time around.Back at late evening.I'll start at night then.We'll see.



Open my black diary,listing down stuff I want to settle in this 1 week.Ironically STUDY listed on top of my to-do list.Funnily, the process didnt even start YET!


Its 9pm,tired of doing nothing went down take my dinner and watch 'Princess Diaries 2 : Royal Engagement'[love Anne Hathaway!].Then Adam Lambert showed up on Idol show,who can say no to him!Yes!he's in top 3!Later that night when Im about to print the rest of Comp Law I notes Shahrukh shows up in Koffee with Karan at Star World.Tell me if I ever say NO to his charming+cute dimples!I'll go up and finished my printing,works and will start study later.We'll see.



Its 2am.








Black ink ran out of tank.









Yet another excuse.







And here Im sitting and blogging!Writing my next entry.The 1 million question is....




When will I start study?We'll see.




You unthankful girl, for all this time God and your lovely parents have given you so much and this is what you gave in return?LAZINESS!!!

me,will choose the right path.Soon!:)

For now.....NO!

That is the perfect choice of word for now,NO!

It wont be long I promised you,but I don't know why I doubt my own words.For now.

I think..I guess..I do believe all of this meant for the best for us.For now.

I don't want to say YES just because people want me to say so.When the right time comes I will say YES,because I want to.Because I ready to.Because I believe I should say so.Because my heart give the signs to do so.But its a NO,for now.

Its never about you,seriously![meredith's impression!] its always about me and my unready & unprepared self![this time I wont blame on my relationship phobic's nerve]

Now you may think your heart being crashed into pieces, your dreams been denied, and your right been rejected but believe me it all for your own good. If not for us.For now though.

There's always silver lining behind dark cloud remember?So,let us keep it that way. Let us find and search for our silver or even a gold lining then.

See you when I see you.

For now,have a great life ahead.






P/S: Waiting impatiently for the great game of the year between Manchester United vs. Barcelona.Congrats for both team,may the best team wins(read:MU!)

me,the undecisive girl :)