Different feeling of Raya.

There's a fang of loneliness in my heart as its nearing Aidilfitri this year, and that tiny little space is as empty as the roads in my 'kampungs' Shah Alam and KL. I settled my Raya shopping only 1 day before THE day, that itself proved the level of unexcited-ness I have now compared to how I used to be for the past 23 years. I had amazing Ramadhan though, hope He will accept all our deeds,doas and ibadah performed in that month. Amin.

Yes, I'm always the happiest girl when it comes to Raya. I know the fact my family is small, I don't have kampungs nor dozens of cousins and saudara-mara like my friends' do but at 24 I start to envy them. I'm the happiest just being with my small chaos loud crazy loving family and awesome circle of friends but somehow there's a need to have more.

I don't know what is THAT extra more I'm yearning for but I know I need THAT.

Nevertheless, I'm grateful to have what I have and to be where I am with who I am now and all thanks to Him and all His blessings.

I would like to wish all Muslims around the world and all Malaysian a happy SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, maaf zahir batin.

1 of the little things that I do before Raya:)

p/s: Please be safe on the road and eat modestly, do keep that duit raya coming in coz Kak Cheda ain't giving any this year since the law itself states a chambering student has no salary but we are only given allowance so kids try again next year ok? hehehe.

Ms. Super Picky.

Rox and Sarah are the latest to join the rest of my friends who think omg-cheda-you-are-super damn picky-about food-I-never-met-someone as gila and choosy-as-you are!

To be honest I get that a lot, my sister and I definitely get that from Ayah because he's very very particular about what he eats and how he wants his foods to be.

Some even said I'm the fat girl who eat the less they ever known in their life. I don't eat much or lavishly but when I love something I stick to the same thing forever, like seriously FOREVER and keep ordering the same thing and never that kind who likes to try new stuff.

I personally think I'm completely normal. But hey which gila people think he/she is gila?hahaha.

Well this entry is obviously about food, going to share my Iftar sessions with them this year:)

Delicious with the babes:)

Buka puasa with the whole Mix.Fm gang, happy to meet JD & Dilly again. Brought Rox because she managed to fast for the 1st time this year, for 2 full weeks.Not bad huh? :) We had a great night indeed.

Kenny Rogers with the girls and Damai-ians, I've tried mac and cheese for the 1st time in my life and I LOVE IT!Now my 3 side dishes no more only mash potatoes,hehe.

Chilis with The Shrekkians, would be lovely if ALL can join though :')

*Rasa lapar tak?*

Not now.

One question been asked frequently to me lately is ‘what are you going to do after this (end of pupilage) and most of the time even before I open my mouth to give my answer they will decide on behalf of me and said “kahwin je lah,senang”. Senang? Seriously? What are these people thinking about, do they think marriage is benda main-main? It takes more hardwork (physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, etc) to maintain a marriage rather than building a career now days.

My own master (Mr.R), my mother, few lawyers, friends, staffs in SBR & Co (esp our LA, Mr.K and our manager; Mr.C) all of them think that I’m the married type and chase me to get married by next year. How come? As far as I remember I never portrayed myself as one. But still they think by 25 years old one should settled down and start producing children before good timing passed by (LAME!I know right). Do you notice the word SHOULD there? Yes, they don’t really care about what YOU WANT, and where your happiness lies but what the SOCIETY WANTS and what they think ought to be done at certain phase in our life as a girl/woman.

The reason I give them each time is ‘mana ada duit, kena kerja dulu’ when the fact is I just don’t think about marriage yet but since it’s hard to explain to them of why I don’t want to get married therefore I give them the answer that they rather hear plus it’s a common problem by young adult like us who struggling to make end for a brighter and secured future. And there come a reply of, “Why would you have to think about all that, you don’t need money, the guy must provide everything.”  Again, SERIOUSLY? I can’t believe this! Especially when it’s coming from well respected educated people but we can’t really blame them because most of Malaysian still follow the conventional school of thought. Even Rox thinks I should get married before her (when the fact is she’s been with Will for 3 years now) because....wait for it, she thinks Malay all get married early (WTH?!). And there come my reply, “I aint Malay” much to her annoyance.LOL.

You see it’s easy to say or plan your future when you can find/already have a partner who is 3-5 years older who has great career, financially stable, own a house and car, etc but don’t rub on someone’s face when they are not as lucky as you are. Some of my friends even getting married soon to guys who afford to ask their future wife not to continue working post marriage but still in these modern days I strongly feel and believe women must/need to have their own security when it comes to money.

Right now I just hope and pray that my elder sister will get married soon, live happily ever after and make my parents happy. At least that’s my plan for now so that they won’t focus on me too soon. To all out there who is getting married soon, I wish you all the happiness till the end of your life. Amin.

I know He has somewhat awesome plan for me, so for now let love make way to me rather than I go find for it when I know I’m not ready for a commitment just yet...it won’t be fair for other people.

I miss writing!

I hate to see the condition of my blog, it looks like a haunted place since it has been abandoned for moons already. I have so many things (like crazy many!) to share and write but all of them are stuck in my head with 1001 other things that come with the title as a pupil I’m living with for the last 7 months. In between office, courts, here and there I find myself rather settled on my comfy bed at the end of the day rather than facing my laptop. It’s so tiring you know, not just for my eyes (facing the PC, damn thick books and cases) but emotionally tired as well because never had I have to work for straight 9 months without any leaves (exception to weekends, public holidays because all that flew in a blink).

Now days, life is no more about rainbow and butterflies, adult life is very dull and sad. Given any chance I prefer my student’s life over anything else. I’m willing to continue my studies until the highest level but at this age everything comes with responsibility and it’s about time for a 24 years old to give back to the people that matters the most to us, our parents and family.  Yes I love the fact that I’m chasing my dream (the one that I had since I was 7 although back then I don’t even know what a lawyer does) and am this close to be a litigator myself by its not the profession that suck but the life as a litigator is....Basically there’s no life for us (litigators) at least for the first 10 years of us trying to build your career or set up our own firm (InsyaAllah). 

In short I have so much respect for those who can juggle their career and personal life wonderfully at this stage regardless what lines are they in, I have few friends getting engaged and married end of this year and early next year. This left me wondering, why can’t I be like them or positively I like to believe Allah is waiting for the right time to put all the pieces in its places.

Going to end this entry with some mouth watering pictures from our iftar!

Dinner with Shrekians at Chilis while cheering for LCW!Lovely moment after months:)

I miss my coffee badly this Ramadhan!

Cheers to me for another day without rice this month!