Not now.

One question been asked frequently to me lately is ‘what are you going to do after this (end of pupilage) and most of the time even before I open my mouth to give my answer they will decide on behalf of me and said “kahwin je lah,senang”. Senang? Seriously? What are these people thinking about, do they think marriage is benda main-main? It takes more hardwork (physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, etc) to maintain a marriage rather than building a career now days.

My own master (Mr.R), my mother, few lawyers, friends, staffs in SBR & Co (esp our LA, Mr.K and our manager; Mr.C) all of them think that I’m the married type and chase me to get married by next year. How come? As far as I remember I never portrayed myself as one. But still they think by 25 years old one should settled down and start producing children before good timing passed by (LAME!I know right). Do you notice the word SHOULD there? Yes, they don’t really care about what YOU WANT, and where your happiness lies but what the SOCIETY WANTS and what they think ought to be done at certain phase in our life as a girl/woman.

The reason I give them each time is ‘mana ada duit, kena kerja dulu’ when the fact is I just don’t think about marriage yet but since it’s hard to explain to them of why I don’t want to get married therefore I give them the answer that they rather hear plus it’s a common problem by young adult like us who struggling to make end for a brighter and secured future. And there come a reply of, “Why would you have to think about all that, you don’t need money, the guy must provide everything.”  Again, SERIOUSLY? I can’t believe this! Especially when it’s coming from well respected educated people but we can’t really blame them because most of Malaysian still follow the conventional school of thought. Even Rox thinks I should get married before her (when the fact is she’s been with Will for 3 years now) because....wait for it, she thinks Malay all get married early (WTH?!). And there come my reply, “I aint Malay” much to her annoyance.LOL.

You see it’s easy to say or plan your future when you can find/already have a partner who is 3-5 years older who has great career, financially stable, own a house and car, etc but don’t rub on someone’s face when they are not as lucky as you are. Some of my friends even getting married soon to guys who afford to ask their future wife not to continue working post marriage but still in these modern days I strongly feel and believe women must/need to have their own security when it comes to money.

Right now I just hope and pray that my elder sister will get married soon, live happily ever after and make my parents happy. At least that’s my plan for now so that they won’t focus on me too soon. To all out there who is getting married soon, I wish you all the happiness till the end of your life. Amin.

I know He has somewhat awesome plan for me, so for now let love make way to me rather than I go find for it when I know I’m not ready for a commitment just yet...it won’t be fair for other people.