Once in a while if we
finished our hearing early, Mr.K will take me for a quick bite before heading
back to office. 1 day while having our brunch he asked me what book am I
currently reading and I said he doesn’t want to know because I read chick flick
novels and not those serious materials like other my age would read. Then he
told me he’s reading ‘God’s Dilemma’, because he is in search what is and who the
real God is. He said he keep looking for the answer of what is the purpose of him
being born, why does God wants him to be on this earth, why is he doing and not
that, why would people want to get married when at the end of the day we will
end up die alone, and etc. Further he questioned, if God is fair and great why
are some people are rich and some can’t even afford to have propel meal once a
day? Why are there people born with disabilities? Why are people fighting and
wars taking place all around the world? Why must people think their religion is
better than the other? Why the society judge people according to who does the
most deeds publicly? Why this and why that?
I can’t even freaking enjoy
my capati that day. Somehow when he raised this issue, he pretty much reminds
me to Dr.MZ (coincidently he knows Dr.MZ because he was a visiting lecturer for
his class in UM few years back) lol.what a small world since now Miss Sik is
his Master class lecturer for IP. Ok back to the story...
For a second there I thought
we were having a clash of minds (debate would sounds so exaggerate since we were
at a Mamak restaurant,haha) comparing all the religions and stuffs beyond our
imagination and most of the time my answers or the way I reciprocated sounds
like as if I know what am I doing in this world but the truth is I just want to
balance the conversation by being the positive party here and I told him, ‘I
ain’t no the perfect Muslim but I never stop learning, you tend to over
thinking about things K(since he asked me to stop calling him Mr.K kononnya nampak
tua since he’s just 29y.o), for me as long as I’m happy doing what am I doing,
happy with the way I am surrounded by the people I love I won’t wasting time
thinking about things which we can never find the perfect and certain answer
because I’m that kind of person the more I think about these kind of things I
will start to question my faith and I don’t like it’.
Then I asked him,’ Why do
you go to temple, pray, and go to those talks about Hindu, etc but at the end
of the day you still don’t have the peacefulness of mind that you should get?’
He replied, ‘Because I have to, we were told to do that since were kids so we
grow up thinking that’s the right thing to do but I’m a deep shit because I
still can’t find the answer what am I doing here. And before leaving I said,’
That’s the difference between us, yes I was taught by my parents to love and
obey my religion and God but whatever I’m doing for Islam now is because I want
to not because I have too and I believe that is why I am happy.’
In the car otw back, the
whole journey he still talking about it but I trying hard not to take it
seriously and again and again he reminds me ‘You better don’t start to over
thinking like I do, because I don’t need another person to join me in this deep
shit’. I was just laughing and said, ‘No, I won’t’.
Have some faith will you?
