Sometimes the smallest thing can change your whole life. Sometimes a stranger’s words make you realized what you worth of. Sometimes the loss of lives make you grasped the fact that life is indeed very short. I still remember the eve of our Independence Day 12 years ago when I was so young and like 20kgs lighter[that was not the point here] that was the 1st time I think I’ve ever take a celebrity’s death in adisbelief or shock state. It was Princess Diana horrifying accident which bring to the tragic end of her life that actually make me cry while watching the funeral live telecast around the world, thanks to Elton John’s heartbreaking way of singing 1 of my favourite. This year basically bring back the memory of how I take the news of the death of person I’ve been admire either my whole life or just started in the middle or for the past 5-6 years. There’s not necessary the impacts have to be in a direct way.
Never admit that I was the biggest fan but I do love all MJ’s works, who doesn’t? His songs give inspirations to all walks of life. If 1 year ago I wrote an entry about how I adore her films and ads, how I would love to create even if 1 percent of what she did but now she’s gone leaving behind a great legacy which untouchable for a long time I believe. Yasmin Ahmad is (refused to used past tense) the best! And how irony can thing gets is as I just humming the song ‘Pergi Tak Kembali’ few days ago when this morning the shocking news left nation in depressing period as Ramadhan just around the corner and the fact that we will never listen to his beautiful voice for takbir on the eve of Raya. Al-fatihah to all of them,R.I.P!
p/s: condolences to Aamir & Kiran too who have lost their 1st baby.
With you beside me, My heart sings a song, Without you, My music is gone.
If I have you with me, I have everything, If you're gone, There's not a thing here.
To have you with me, is to live a wonderful dream, When you're around, it feels like, I've found every joy, When you're gone, happiness doesn't satisfy me. It's my life that's asking...for you
When you're with me, I can find my way, When you're gone, there is no path.
When you're here, There is everything, Without you, who's left, If you're with me, every moment is bliss.
When you're with me, I feel even the breeze has the colour of love, When you're gone, life is without spirit, When I found you, I found life.
Why or why I keep thinking of certain 5 letters word? Is it because of the mega sales going on around the nation, or maybe it’s because of the Audi R8 & Porsche Cayenne I just saw on the road? Or is it because Europe, Mumbai and Old Trafford continue calling me from far? But I strongly feel it is because the Elles, Guess’, Sembonias, etc handbags I had my eyes on last week. Basically Im craving for more money these days.
Every now and then I keep myself busy thinking about how to get more money as a student? Although there are bundle of works to be done my mind just can seems to let it go. Is there something that I would do passionately without burdening me, got or not works like that? BTW, I don’t have any working experience, my dad won’t let me work for night shift, my parents will not know if I get the work because they totally against it, can I get RM5 per hour and the place have to be near my house at Taman Bunga Raya so that I don’t need to take cab or bus? Anyone who has vacancy, call me although I think the description above might lessen my chance getting an employer anytime soon!
Without even realizing it last week I felt the same excitement as the girls when they say PTPTN is about to deposit next payment,but after 5 minutes I literally can feel a slap on my face; " Cheda, you dont apply for PTPTN remember?". Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Well this I-need-more-cash sickness getting worst after recession, before, if Ayah deposit RM1k for the month I'll take time to zeroing it but now before the money can breathe in my account they disappeared already T_T
So many things going on with life now, and all of them needs money. Without radio at Malacca house I can’t seem to survive or be genuinely happy. I need my radio! It been months since last time I won something neither through T.V, magazines or radio contests. And life does suck big time because of that. Not winning something for months killing me softly inside, I never denied of how contestholic I am. People has problem because of love life or exam around the corner but I’m depressed of not winning anything. As I had plan nothing going to stop me enjoying my life as I became 21 so I need to work hard towards it. More adventures waiting for me out there!
p/s: So try live with what you have, instead of thinking about something you dont have better appreciate what you have infront of you right!Well that is want I always do but its no harm right trying to upgrade your lifestyle towards betterness.
me,like Pepsi keep ‘Ask for more’ and more MONEY! :)
When you thought yesterday was the best day just because you had the best laugh or simply because it was as smooth as you could imagine there will come days where you will happier. Small things like meeting or making new friends will change your mind, and suddenly feels that today is the best day so far and believe me we will keep changing our thought as days passed by because there are so many great people out there that are dying to know us.[positive attitude here]We(me especially)kept saying how we longing we could turn back time but the fact is no one can go back and make a brand new start but we have the chance to start from now and make a brand new ending.
When you thought yesterday was the day when you hated your brother (or others who close to you)so much that you decided that no matter what he does you would just don't care but there will come days where you feel how much you love him although we fight most of the time[accurately,99% of our life dedicated to fighting] 1 nightmare reminds how much you take loved ones for granted so start appreciate them even showing in tiny little ways. The distance people say will make the hearts grow fonder and I hope that is the case here because this excuse is my only hope.
When you thought yesterday was the last day you'd cry over silly things there will come days where proved you to be absolutely wrong. Yet time and again it remain the same, we cry for all reasons. Happy, sad, overwhelmed, love, stress, overjoyed, etc.[for me at least being super sensitive, hate it sometimes because it’s just not cool!]After long hours crying there always be someone beside me who kind enough to land me their shoulders or ' popok' me(",) I just cant imagine life without all these kind people around me. I remember the quote from my 1st day of Criminal Law II class; "When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means", and that exactly how I see things now. Sometimes it hit me hard about how lucky my life most of the time because thanks to all the love that I never short of. Never be that kind of person who openly express or show my feeling except to those who I grow up with. From the bottom of my heart really appreciate it and thank you so much. Learning how to give more and demand less.
When you thought yesterday was the last day you talked to someone and will never see their face neither will you forgive them there come the days when somehow you ignore the ego and feeling because you realized no one is perfect and mistakes are what we carry along our life. It’s the parcel of life and yet it’s not the parcel we wish to keep forever. Sometimes we tried so hard but the results is not what we yearning for but each time when we feel down because didn’t achieved what our heart wanting just sit tight and be happy that we experience new stuff and be happy because GOD has thought of something better to give you. We discover through the journey and hope at the end of the route everyone is happy and no anger or hatred towards each other because it is indeed the 1 values towards a HAPPY life dunia&akhirat.Amin
When you thought yesterday was the end of your life as you feel so disappointed with how things turn up there will come days where you just chew it up and live life on your own terms and finally feel good about it. It definitely sucks when your works upset those who have faith in you but as long as you know you gave your best effort nothing they say can bring you down. They just someone who you meet at each phase in our life so listen to what they got to say and take advices which can boost your spirit towards life in a good way rather than feel bad about ourselves and dragged in for months or even years and finally when you realized you have wasted most of your time it may be too late.
When you thought yesterday was the day where you have grown old enough to stop depending on your parents, you are wrong. Because no matter how old, successful, or independent you grow they will forever remain among the precious pieces of your heart. I miss Ayah and Mama and Home. There will come days where you feel weak without them, when we so used to see them everyday distance does make it harder.
This year will be the last time I said 'this by far the best birthday party ever' because each year its getting better,happier and meaningful. The surprise 21st Birthday Party last night had been craved inside my heart forever for many reasons, and I believe I've made right decision. May HE guide me along the way,amin.Every moment of my life I thank GOD for each bless because without family and friends I don't think I will have this smile on my face.I may not be the PDA (public display affection) type of person,but they all deserved my love simply by staying by my side for all this time and without showing it I know they feel and knew it deep down inside. Most important for keep loving me the way I am. Thank you so much to all of you[you know who you are]and LOVE from the bottom of my heart.
Does anyone really understand what is one’s feeling or thinking when they said they do? When someone admits they being a relationship phobic, what do they mean? Are they waiting for the right guy, perfect timing or for the simple fact that they don’t believe in the existence of relationship? I must confess that being 1 of those people doesn’t make me insecure of life or what, but looking at a ideal loving couple in front of me my whole life(my lovely parents) slowly planted inside of me the feeling of petrified involve in a failed relationship.
I was 5 when I thought Ayah (my dad) is the only guy deserved to be in my life; love him to death and I was 12 when I decided I don’t need a so called BF. Can anyone define that term for me? What is their role? Why are they so important if girls keep changing them like they change their clothes? I’m not being pessimistic but just throwing some thoughts coming from experiences from my teenage phase, still continue ok because the next phase is way too far.[living in denial]I was 17 when I know for a fact that marriage will not be 1 of my agenda in this life[somehow I used to or maybe still a big believer in an arranged marriage, blame in on Hindi movies], and I was about 20 when I finally realized that Shahrukh is not destined for me not in this lifetime at least. See, I can be an optimistic kind of person sometimes.
I was and am always be a planner, whether is about what I want to do, achieve or get before certain limit of time but I now believe that no matter how hard or smart you organize your life there always be different plans written by GOD for us and I would love to believe each and one of them are meant to teach us one or two lessons that might made us a better, wiser, stronger person. So, I guess there might be a slightest change of plan. Hope and pray God will be on my side this time like HE always does. Those who know me undoubtedly have the basic ideas of how my stand when it comes to private matters, I believe that there is no necessity for me in confirming or denying anything going on in my personal life. I have completely control over my faith and soul of how I want to live my life and with whom I want to share it, so I don’t feel the need in talking about something so close to my heart. Unless they deserved to share the happiness, so if they mind or affected with the action of me not screaming out loud from the roof top than they are not matter for me as those who matter won’t mind. Plus I kinda agree with the saying that a girl's diary before marriage shouldn't be that exciting, public or full as there will be not enough space for the after marriage's voyage which is where we got our due respect and dignity as a woman. It sounds serious but maybe there's hidden truth to it.
Maybe it’s about time to explore the other phase. Expectantly the phrase ‘there’s no harm in trying’ will apply in this situation. Every time I do something my parents will always be part of my mind and heart because without them I don’t think I be able to go through this beautiful journey and I always want to impress them in even small ways and at this stage I can’t afford to lose their trust so 1 wrong step might bring to just that. I was 16 when I consider 1 line in Jason Mraz’s song to be completely agreeable;‘When I fall in love, I’ll take my time’and that is what I think the right move. I was[can’t really remember when] always wanted someone like my dad, he has so much love for my mom that sometimes I envy her. Have To fight for his attention, haha. I proud of my father every time we girls like talking about our fathers and no one ever believe that mine was and still actually helping my mom with house chores, most of them I must say he does without even to be nagged. My friends always said that theirs are like other boys, won’t lift a finger to do any work around house. Not just because of that, I proud and love him for all reasons.
*Devoted & dependent person who love her parents & family to death*A learning muslimah *Frustrated ex-science stream head girl*Lawyer in training*Millionaire in the making*Movie buff,t.v addict &music devotee*Bollywood fanatic*Movie Director wannabe*
