It felt like in a blink of an eye that 5 years had gone,5 years had flew away,5 years of my life have been erased without I even realized it. The images I captured along the way still stored clearly in my head as it felt like it was few minutes ago I was 16. This came as a slap on my face after now officially Along have finished her miserable-yet will be-missed student life in University. When she moved to become an unofficial resident of Malacca I was 16 and yesterday when I literally crawling up to her 5th floor house while gasping for air to get all her 5 years' bits and pieces(most of them are junks!) the past seems to flashing slowly inside my head. Some are nice and some of them are not so pleasant memories. It appears all the monologues are still part of my script today...
"I would never enter a private University like Along, when she has the chance to enroll in IPTA then why the hell we should pay more to study?", thats what I said to Mama but it turns out wrong and yet they still love me.
"I'll try to control my short-temperness because never meant to hurt the people around me", I thought it was an east job but I was wrong as usual and still fighting this malady.Im sorry is all I can say,deep inside my heart.And yet they still tolerate and love me.
"I will get straight A's in my SPM like I did for UPSR & PMR, so that I can further my study in Law at a very well known IPTA or University abroad", confidently that's what I told Ayah when he was against the idea of flying overseas but it turns out wrong because I didnt work hard enough to earn the bright future and yet they still love me.
"I will never fall in love or commit to a relationship", that's what my heart screamed since I always think Im the biggest relationship phobic ever but still it turns out wrong because you cant control your heart to have a soft spot for the people who doesnt even know your existence and yet you still love them.
"I will never speak to her again,never ever will I forgive her", thats what I wrote in my diary when I was 17 but it turns out wrong because I grow older and maturer so I forgive and accept people the way they accept me and the love continues.
"I hate him,feel like killing him",been yearning the same thing since I was 7 but still I love my only annoyying brother.
I could go on and on about all the regrets buried inside myself but I would like to believe each and every wrong we did in the past turn out to be the biggest teacher or lesson for us in the present or future.
"I would never enter a private University like Along, when she has the chance to enroll in IPTA then why the hell we should pay more to study?", thats what I said to Mama but it turns out wrong and yet they still love me.
"I'll try to control my short-temperness because never meant to hurt the people around me", I thought it was an east job but I was wrong as usual and still fighting this malady.Im sorry is all I can say,deep inside my heart.And yet they still tolerate and love me.
"I will get straight A's in my SPM like I did for UPSR & PMR, so that I can further my study in Law at a very well known IPTA or University abroad", confidently that's what I told Ayah when he was against the idea of flying overseas but it turns out wrong because I didnt work hard enough to earn the bright future and yet they still love me.
"I will never fall in love or commit to a relationship", that's what my heart screamed since I always think Im the biggest relationship phobic ever but still it turns out wrong because you cant control your heart to have a soft spot for the people who doesnt even know your existence and yet you still love them.
"I will never speak to her again,never ever will I forgive her", thats what I wrote in my diary when I was 17 but it turns out wrong because I grow older and maturer so I forgive and accept people the way they accept me and the love continues.
"I hate him,feel like killing him",been yearning the same thing since I was 7 but still I love my only annoyying brother.
I could go on and on about all the regrets buried inside myself but I would like to believe each and every wrong we did in the past turn out to be the biggest teacher or lesson for us in the present or future.
16.That is my favourite age in my life.It sounds stupid but I always wish/pray that God can take anything from me if HE could rewind back time and make me go through my life all over again starting 1st January 2004; the day I started my life as sweet 16[bittersweet is a better choice actually].Its a little bit of selfish I know but its time for me to be 1 after all this while. All those photo albums I go through last night reminds me to the awesome-rocking-mind blowing-bestest years of my life which is 2004-2005.Maybe the reunion bug bit me again,so till next time it bits me I 'll come up with the not so sweet life of the Ex-science streame's student who happened to be the head girl, its a unreveal miracle for those who knows me!SERIOUSLY!
me,getting older..who doesnt?:)
3 comments:
Strangely though, 16 was the best and worst year of my life too... I hit the maximum level of achievement, lost my few real friends and made lots of new... enemies. (Damn.)
Bittersweet sixteen has a ring to it, though. All the best... more years to come with new lessons inside.
you always came out with really nice-to-hear last words man,thank you for em!:)
Welcome. I practice my entrances and exits a lot... and would you please congratulate and give your sister my best wishes... big life ahead for her, and you're next. Imagine that! :)
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